Thursday, June 19, 2008

Work Woes

I'm not sure what's going on with work. A few weeks ago, I was chatting with someone who seemed like a perfectly normal person, until he went of on a rant about how women get paid less because they contribute less to the work force. And, I mean, I thought we were done with that crap.

I don't expect to have to explain that Jews don't have horns and African-Americans aren't born with tails, so why do I still have to have this conversation?

Anyway, my office -- full of what my ex called chiaccierona, and I call yentas -- is apparently abuzz with my status. Do these people have nothing else to talk about? To make matters worse, someone close to me was IMing with me -- our office requires it -- and mistakenly told me that someone very high in the company had announced my pregnancy to my boss's boss. I was dumbfounded and felt targeted, embarrassed, and all-around uneasy. (This wouldn't be out of character for this guy.) Today, she cleared it up -- via actual talking, not IM -- and said no, she had conflated two conversations.

Nonetheless, she did confirm my pg is a subject of discussion, and that makes me really uncomfortable. I went to HR and just said look, just so you know, I'm pg, full stop. Nothing'll happen now, no need to talk over the nitty gritty for another bunch of months. But now I feel like my butt is at least covered legally.

I have a ton more to say, and don't feel like it's wise to say it now. I feel awful, paranoid, and altogether negative. Who cares? What's the big deal? I feel like the other women are happy for me, and all the men are disgusted. I'm not putting something over on them. My work's getting done. I suffer more from the stress than the sickness, you know?

I'll come back when I'm feeling more positive. I just feel upset right now.

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