okay, someone tell me what morning sickness feels like. because i'm starting to suspect it feels like when you get jostled around on a bus for an hour while trying to read the paper. like, i know i'm not going to barf, but the possibility of barf is wrapped like a sickening pashmina around my shoulders.
does it also include a splitting, endless headache? how about hot flashes? hot flashes that last from 11 pm to about 5:30 am, when they are replaced by freezing shivers? is that morning sickness? how about racing adrenaline coupled with utter exhaustion? that? is that morning sickness, people?
because I think -- i think -- that my second trimester has decided to brand itself as "the morning sickness trimester." in which case I say: fuck you, second trimester. fuck you straight to hell.
Meanwhile, labor looms in my future; i feel like i'm paddling down a long river toward a dark tunnel, and that tunnel is full of torture devices for my ladyparts. I've equated that torture with trips to the gym: any day that I don't go to the gym, I feel like I'm guaranteeing more pain. Some would say "good! it'll motivate you to get to the gym!" but it's starting to feel more anxiety-inducing than rational. "Rational" not really being my middle name at this juncture.
I should make it a priority to stop by the friendly little natural maternity store near me. Of course, that means missing the gym after work one day this week... EEK!
In other news: did I mention I have three stepkids? One is grown, so he doesn't really count as a kid and is, essentially, more like a second husband/irreplaceable ally in dealing with the younger stepkids. I was concerned about the two younger kids, but they were great -- coming up with names. I hope they stay positive about it; historically, they've been very excited about various things only to suddenly develop a sense of foreboding and impending doom after they return home and share their exciting news with... well, it's entirely mysterious.
Hi! I'm the most positive person on the planet, and this is my blog! Thank you for your time!