Eating and Sleeping

So Penn is now eating! Since she finished the medication that closed her heart valves (yay!), she was given the last of my colostrum (yay!!) starting late yesterday and into today. They were giving her "microfeeds," about 4 millileters (under a teaspoon) at a time; at today's earlier feed, there was a lot of undigested milk in her tummy, but when she ate again at 5:30, there was a lot less -- a negligible amount. So her "gut is waking up," as they say.

Today's nurse was Mary, from Calgary. Very sweet. A hockey fan, of course, and very sad to see her team beat by our local San Jose Sharks every goshdarn year. She and the rest of the nurses continue to flabbergast me with their coolness. Penn had another terrifying booger today -- Randy held her first while I went and got lunch, then he went to trick-or-treat with Eli and Max while I held Penn. I intended to introduce her to Righty and see if she'd latch on again, because my milk production goes up so much when she nuzzles the raspberry (as it were) (oh god, sorry dad). But the minute I picked her up I could see she was having trouble again: breathing through her wee mouth, and unable to latch (though she really wanted to!) because her nose wouldn't work. Then she seemed to really be in trouble, and I called Mary over.

The nurses get this "nurse face" that I really appreciate. As someone who broadcasts her every emotion (no poker for me), I marvel that the nurses can glide over, smiling encouragingly, and sit my choking child up while reaching for the sucky-tube and reaching up her nose, all in a flash, before she has time to be in any serious trouble. Out popped yet another booger that had to have been bigger than her brain. How is she making such large items?! And then she was fine, but exhausted. Righty will have to wait till tomorrow; all we did for the next couple hours was sit, me with my feet up (please, please let my ankles return to normal), her curled against my chest like a little snail, fast asleep, padding her little knees and hands against me.

My iPhone playlist is so excellent, if I do say so myself. Today Penn heard at least some of the mixed-up lyrics of: Stone Blind Love (Tom Waits), Hallelujiah (Jeff Buckley), Champagne Supernova (Oasis), Baby I'm Amazed (well, i felt guilty skipping that because I knew her dad would want her to hear it, so I allowed the cheese), and The Briar and the Rose (Tom Waits again). Honestly, this was the first time I was alone with her, I think -- with Randy gone -- and it was a different experience to just focus on her, listen to the music, and not worry about anything else.

WHen it was time for her 5:30 feed, I pumped and then -- oh, my gosh, it was Halloween, and everyone was in costume, including most of the nurses (ears and tails, mostly). I made my way home, stupidly stopping at the grocery store on the way (I solemnly promise not to do THAT again), and now I'm home, waiting for Randy to come back, cooking up some nice dinners and lunches for the next few days. There's a fridge at our disposal, so all I have to do is think ahead a little and we can stop eating like crap during the day, DUH.

Tomorrow the kids come meet her. I'm nervous about this to say the least. Randy will drop me at the hospital in the morning, and bring them over in the afternoon. augh. no. my attitude is positive. yay.