surprise!

we interrupt this pregnancy to bring you... a baby!

wednesday night I felt like absolute crap. I was going on my third day of dull, nagging, distracting pain that didn't get worse, but didn't get better. i discussed it with my midwife and with my insurance's phone-nurse, and given where and how bad the pain was, everyone just thought it was round-ligament pain. I felt like kind of a wussmeister, because i couldn't work and just kept crying because i felt so bad and tired.

I stopped by my local natural-mommy store and picked up a belly-support band to ease my pain. it seemed to help but by the time i got home i just hurt no matter what. i lay down on the couch and just cried and cried because I couldn't imagine two more months of feeling like this. other said they'd felt the same way so i just figured i had to toughen up and get through it.

we went to bed at around 11pm and as usual, i couldn't sleep despite my exhaustion. i was just wired, hot, prickly. i felt this weird crawling sensation under my skin. at around 1am i fell into a deep sleep and awoke at 3 with the odd feeling that a balloon had popped inside me. I knew. I flinched. Randy woke and asked what was wrong; I said "it feels like a balloon popped inside me." I lay there for a moment, waiting to see if some liquid would dribble out; i expected a little adn then I'd call the doctor. I got a little. I sat up a little. Then I got a lot.

I called out my husband's name and he woke u completely. "What's the matter?" "Don't get upset. But there's a lot of liquid coming out of me. Oh my god." He ran for the phone, I called my doctor, the midwife came on the line right away. I remember the operator stopping when I started crying, asking "What was that?" and realizing i had just said "oh my god" again, and then the midwife came on. "You need to go to the nearest hospital. Are we the nearest hospital?" Yes. "Come to labor and delivery."

I was afraid to stand up. She said an ambulance could come if I was scared but we had to get in to the hospital. I just wanted to go. My husband helped me up and it just kept gushing out. I remember looking at my hand to make sure there was no blood. We put on a robe and my uggs, he pulled them on for me. We hurried down to the car. I remember driving down Cesar Chavez and him saying "I'm running some lights but it's okay, there's nobody around" and I said something like "go ahead, i trust you." We pulled up to the ER and i said "Oh, remember?" because we'd been there when my back was having muscle spasms. We got in the door and I saw the midwife. she brought us up to labor and delivery.

i went into a room. i forget how -- they verified that my "bag had ruptured." "my water broke?" "yes." okay. in walked my doctor. "Sorry to wake you," I said, and he tld me they were going to give me steroids for the baby's lungs. after that we'd hope to keep her in there at least 48 hours for her to have the full benefit, but the benefit would start immediately. he told me they were going to transfer me to another hospital and I'd eventually give birth there, maybe in 2 weeks, maybe in 5. i'd be on hospital bed-rest till then. "I'm so bummed!" he said. "I was looking forward to going through this wtih you." "I don't know any doctors tehre," i said, and he told me he'd trained there, he knew the doctors, they were excellent, and I was in the best hands. "You'll go through a mourning period for the birth you thought you'd have," he said, and I understoood.

The EMTs came in and put me on a gurney. I was hooked up to IVs of various kinds, I guess the steroids and something to stop my contractions.

More later. Spoiler: the baby is fine.