Here's what my pregnancy is like right now:
Baby and body are across the table from one another. Baby glares at body. Body glares back at baby. Baby concentrates, focuses, strains... GROWS! Body flings itself backwards in agony. Works overtime to compensate for extra baby. Finally, body adjusts, and peace reigns in the land for, oh, a week.
Then it begins again.
Holy shit, this hurts! Apparently it's "round ligament pain?" and "relaxin," the least-aptly-named hormone in all of recorded history? and just my baby resting on my lower colon??? holy SHIT. i can't sleep because the only comfortable position i can find is a modified downward dog, and that's about as restful as -- fuck. I can't focus. Everything hurts!
I'm waiting for a decent interval, please.