Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Three And A Half

I have been struggling lately with P. She's still my delightful daughter, but has taken on a host of unwelcome new behaviors: she's suddenly terrified of everything (even mild shows like Chloe's Closet freak her out), she's extremely oppositional and distracted (I can be speaking straight to her and not get a reaction), and she's suddenly discovered the joys of teasing her little sister.

I've been reading "Your Three Year Old: Friend Or Enemy," by Louise Bates Ames, Ph.D., and find I am not so special. This is great news. As I read the rundown of what happens, typically, at 3.5, I wanted to weep with recognition. Most reassuring of all was Ames' advice to wait it out and even to avoid my child as much as possible -- she actually prescribes babysitters if a mom is feeling like she can't get through a day without screaming.

The part that sent me running to tell you guys about this, though, was this passage -- no idea what page it is, because I'm reading it on the Overdrive app. Here it is:

Emotional insecurity, which so many seem to feel at this age, may be based to a large extent on the temporary inadequacy of the motor system.

At three, the author says, the kid had just developed a crapload of milestones; at 3.5, she is in the middle of a crapload more, and is overwhelmed. That's all that's happening. It explains the thumb-sucking, the return to tantrums, every bit of frustrating behavior, and makes me feel so grateful she's moving forward with such force. She's handling all this with aplomb, and if I can keep my cool and just let her get through it, she'll be fine as always.

This book is a quick read and is one of a series -- this is the first I've read, but what a help. Like!

1 comment:

Lisa said...

Huh, seems like it might have helped with N. Wonder what the age four book is about?